TRUST ME, I'M A TADPOLE

Hello!  I'm a tadpole.
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
Why is that ridiculous?
BECAUSE YOU DON'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE A TADPOLE.
Yes I do.
NO YOU DON'T.
Yes, I do.
NO.  YOU REALLY DO NOT.
Why don't I?
BECAUSE I AM A TADPOLE, AND YOU DON'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE ME.
Now who's being ridiculous?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
Well, I said that I was a tadpole and now you're copying me.
BUT I AM A TADPOLE.
You can't be!
WHY NOT?
Because I said it first, I am a tadpole, and you don't look anything like me.
HOW DO YOU KNOW I DON'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE YOU?
Because I'm looking at you, and I can see you don't look anything like me.
YOU MIGHT BE LOOKING AT ME, BUT YOU'RE NOT LOOKING AT YOURSELF, SO HOW CAN YOU COMPARE US?
You're justing trying to be clever now.
NO I'M NOT.
Yes you are.  You're just annoyed that I said that I was a tadpole first.
NO I'M NOT.
Yes you are.  You don't like it that I can be something that you can't.
BUT I AM A TADPOLE!
How do you know?  Have you got a mirror?
NO, I DON'T HAVE A MIRROR, BECAUSE I AM A TADPOLE AND TADPOLES DON'T HAVE MIRRORS!
Yes they do.
NO THEY DON'T.
Why don't they?
BECAUSE THEY'RE TADPOLES!  AND BESIDES, TADPOLES DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT MIRRORS ARE!
But you know what a mirror is!
NO I DON'T.
Yes you do, because I just asked you if you had a mirror, and you said you didn't, so you must know what one is or you wouldn't be able to tell whether you had one or not!
NOW WHO IS TRYING TO BE CLEVER?
Not me, I'm just trying to point out that you can't be a tadpole, because you said you haven't got a mirror.
I SAID THAT I HAVEN'T GOT A MIRROR BECAUSE I'M A TADPOLE! ANYWAY - HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT A MIRROR IS?
I don't.
YOU MUST DO, BECAUSE YOU ASKED ME IF I HAD ONE!
I asked you if you had one because, being a tadpole, I've never seen one and I wanted to know what one is!
NO YOU DIDN'T, YOU ASKED ME WHAT ONE IS BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO KNOW HOW I KNEW THAT I WAS A TADPOLE!  YOU WERE TRYING TO CATCH ME OUT, SO YOU MUST KNOW WHAT ONE IS IN ORDER TO ASK ME WHETHER I HAD ONE!
Oh, this is flipping ridiculous.  I am a tadpole.  I said it first.  You are not a tadpole.
NO, I AM A TADPOLE AND YOU ARE NOT A TADPOLE.
Why can't we both be tadpoles?
BECAUSE I AM A TADPOLE AND YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE ME, SO YOU CAN'T BE A TADPOLE!!!


"Excuse me fellas, I'll just leave your teacakes here on the table.  I'll come back in about ten minutes to give you your medication."


Thanks Brenda.
YEAH, CHEERS BRENDA.
Ha!  You can't be a tadpole - you just spoke to that woman!
YOU SPOKE TO HER FIRST, SO NEITHER CAN YOU!
Trust me, I'm a tadpole...
NO, I'M A TADPOLE...