The handsome prince stood on the threshold of the room in which the princess slept. He adjusted his attire and approached the sleeping form with the decorum such an occasion warranted. All he needed to do now was kiss the princess and she would awake from her 100 year slumber.
The prince frowned as he studied the sleeping woman. Not what he had expected, to be sure. Still, he inclined his head towards her face, made as if to kiss her...then doubled over in revulsion as he began to gag.
“Chuffin’ Nora, what a whiff! Surely they can’t expect me to snog that? Look at that beard, it’s longer than Gandalf’s! She looks like a dude - in fact, how do I know that ‘she’ is actually a ‘she’ under all that hair? Smell that breath, 100 years without tooth paste or breath freshener...come on people, I’m a prince, I have standards! I can’t be expected to live happily ever after with something that snores like a hog. Stone me - those wazz bags, talk about needing an uplift...and those fingernails – she should be in the Guinness Book of Records. They’re not wrong when they say that ears and noses never stop growing, she looks like a womble! I need to talk to my union representative, there’s no way I’m puckering up for that. Goodness knows what it looks like in the buff...”
No comments:
Post a Comment